build: when your cpu owes you money or something

death.sh

@@ -0,0 +1,71 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env bash
+
+if [[ $# -lt 3 ]]; then
+	echo "Usage: $0 <hostname> <port> <password>"
+	echo "Example: $0 127.0.0.1 6667 lol"
+	exit 1
+fi
+
+HOST="$1"
+PORT="$2"
+PASS="$3"
+
+CLIENTS=1000
+CHANNEL="#the-void"
+MAX_DEATHS=10
+MESSAGE="this is a test message"
+SLEEP_BETWEEN_MSGS=0.01   # set to 0 for max pain
+
+rand_nick() {
+	echo "lab$(tr -dc a-z0-9 </dev/urandom | head -c6)"
+}
+
+rand_goodbye() {
+	shuf -n1 <<-EOF
+	brb dissolving
+	lost to entropy
+	lab rat escaped
+	signal collapsed
+	EOF
+}
+
+# choose victims
+DEATH_COUNT=$(shuf -i0-$MAX_DEATHS -n1)
+DEAD_CLIENTS=$(shuf -i1-$CLIENTS -n "$DEATH_COUNT")
+
+should_die() {
+	grep -qx "$1" <<< "$DEAD_CLIENTS"
+}
+
+echo "[*] Target: $HOST:$PORT"
+echo "[*] Clients: $CLIENTS"
+echo "[*] Mid-stream deaths: $DEATH_COUNT"
+
+for i in $(seq 1 "$CLIENTS"); do
+	(
+		nick=$(rand_nick)
+		msg_count=$(shuf -i100-200 -n1)
+
+		{
+			echo "PASS $PASS"
+			echo "NICK $nick"
+			echo "USER $nick 0 * : Lab rat"
+			echo "JOIN $CHANNEL"
+
+			for m in $(seq 1 "$msg_count"); do
+				echo "PRIVMSG $CHANNEL :$MESSAGE [$m/$msg_count]"
+				sleep "$SLEEP_BETWEEN_MSGS"
+
+				if should_die "$i" && (( m == msg_count / 2 )); then
+					# abrupt disconnect (no QUIT)
+					exit 0
+				fi
+			done
+
+			echo "QUIT :$(rand_goodbye)"
+		} | nc "$HOST" "$PORT" >/dev/null 2>&1
+	) &
+done
+
+wait
+echo "[*] Tests complete, surely your server hasn't died right :)?"