diff --git a/Cargo.lock b/Cargo.lock
index 4cd15d3bb8cc8..8bbb28728de57 100644
--- a/Cargo.lock
+++ b/Cargo.lock
@@ -999,27 +999,37 @@ dependencies = [
 
 [[package]]
 name = "clap"
-version = "3.2.20"
+version = "3.2.23"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "23b71c3ce99b7611011217b366d923f1d0a7e07a92bb2dbf1e84508c673ca3bd"
+checksum = "71655c45cb9845d3270c9d6df84ebe72b4dad3c2ba3f7023ad47c144e4e473a5"
+dependencies = [
+ "bitflags",
+ "clap_lex 0.2.2",
+ "indexmap",
+ "textwrap",
+]
+
+[[package]]
+name = "clap"
+version = "4.0.18"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "335867764ed2de42325fafe6d18b8af74ba97ee0c590fa016f157535b42ab04b"
 dependencies = [
  "atty",
  "bitflags",
  "clap_derive",
- "clap_lex",
- "indexmap",
+ "clap_lex 0.3.0",
  "once_cell",
  "strsim",
  "termcolor",
- "terminal_size",
- "textwrap",
+ "terminal_size 0.2.1",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
 name = "clap_derive"
-version = "3.2.18"
+version = "4.0.18"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "ea0c8bce528c4be4da13ea6fead8965e95b6073585a2f05204bd8f4119f82a65"
+checksum = "16a1b0f6422af32d5da0c58e2703320f379216ee70198241c84173a8c5ac28f3"
 dependencies = [
  "heck",
  "proc-macro-error",
@@ -1037,6 +1047,15 @@ dependencies = [
  "os_str_bytes",
 ]
 
+[[package]]
+name = "clap_lex"
+version = "0.3.0"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "0d4198f73e42b4936b35b5bb248d81d2b595ecb170da0bac7655c54eedfa8da8"
+dependencies = [
+ "os_str_bytes",
+]
+
 [[package]]
 name = "cmake"
 version = "0.1.48"
@@ -1103,7 +1122,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "encode_unicode",
  "libc",
  "once_cell",
- "terminal_size",
+ "terminal_size 0.1.17",
  "unicode-width",
  "winapi",
 ]
@@ -1233,7 +1252,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "atty",
  "cast",
  "ciborium",
- "clap",
+ "clap 3.2.23",
  "criterion-plot",
  "futures",
  "itertools",
@@ -1804,6 +1823,27 @@ dependencies = [
  "syn",
 ]
 
+[[package]]
+name = "errno"
+version = "0.2.8"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "f639046355ee4f37944e44f60642c6f3a7efa3cf6b78c78a0d989a8ce6c396a1"
+dependencies = [
+ "errno-dragonfly",
+ "libc",
+ "winapi",
+]
+
+[[package]]
+name = "errno-dragonfly"
+version = "0.1.2"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "aa68f1b12764fab894d2755d2518754e71b4fd80ecfb822714a1206c2aab39bf"
+dependencies = [
+ "cc",
+ "libc",
+]
+
 [[package]]
 name = "ethnum"
 version = "1.3.0"
@@ -2489,6 +2529,12 @@ dependencies = [
  "cfg-if",
 ]
 
+[[package]]
+name = "io-lifetimes"
+version = "0.7.4"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "e6e481ccbe3dea62107216d0d1138bb8ad8e5e5c43009a098bd1990272c497b0"
+
 [[package]]
 name = "ipnet"
 version = "2.5.0"
@@ -2853,6 +2899,12 @@ dependencies = [
  "linked-hash-map",
 ]
 
+[[package]]
+name = "linux-raw-sys"
+version = "0.0.46"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "d4d2456c373231a208ad294c33dc5bff30051eafd954cd4caae83a712b12854d"
+
 [[package]]
 name = "lock_api"
 version = "0.4.6"
@@ -3069,7 +3121,7 @@ version = "0.0.0"
 dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "axum",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "dirs",
  "indicatif",
  "mz-ore",
@@ -3194,7 +3246,7 @@ version = "0.0.0"
 dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "chrono",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "hex",
  "mz-ore",
  "mz-test-util",
@@ -3262,7 +3314,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "async-trait",
  "axum",
  "bytesize",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "crossbeam-channel",
  "dec",
  "differential-dataflow",
@@ -3365,7 +3417,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "bytes",
  "cc",
  "chrono",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "datadriven",
  "fail",
  "fallible-iterator",
@@ -3572,7 +3624,7 @@ version = "0.0.0"
 dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "chrono",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "crossbeam",
  "mz-avro",
  "mz-ccsr",
@@ -3683,7 +3735,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "async-trait",
  "chrono",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "futures",
  "k8s-openapi",
  "kube",
@@ -3725,7 +3777,7 @@ version = "0.0.0"
 dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "async-trait",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "futures-core",
  "http",
  "humantime",
@@ -3746,7 +3798,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "atty",
  "bytes",
  "chrono",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "console-subscriber",
  "ctor",
  "either",
@@ -3788,7 +3840,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "aws-sdk-kinesis",
  "aws-types",
  "bytes",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "futures",
  "mz-kinesis-util",
  "mz-ore",
@@ -3850,7 +3902,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "async-trait",
  "axum",
  "bytes",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "criterion",
  "datadriven",
  "differential-dataflow",
@@ -3921,7 +3973,7 @@ version = "0.0.0"
 dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "bytes",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "datadriven",
  "fallible-iterator",
  "mz-ore",
@@ -4097,7 +4149,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "aws-config",
  "aws-sdk-s3",
  "bytefmt",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "futures",
  "indicatif",
  "mz-ore",
@@ -4134,7 +4186,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "async-stream",
  "async-trait",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "crossbeam-channel",
  "futures",
  "http",
@@ -4227,7 +4279,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "bytes",
  "chrono",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "fallible-iterator",
  "futures",
  "junit-report",
@@ -4287,7 +4339,7 @@ name = "mz-stash-debug"
 version = "0.28.0-dev"
 dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "mz-adapter",
  "mz-build-info",
  "mz-ore",
@@ -4382,7 +4434,7 @@ version = "0.30.0-dev"
 dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "axum",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "fail",
  "mz-build-info",
  "mz-http-util",
@@ -4433,7 +4485,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "byteorder",
  "bytes",
  "chrono",
- "clap",
+ "clap 4.0.18",
  "flate2",
  "futures",
  "globset",
@@ -5841,6 +5893,20 @@ dependencies = [
  "semver",
 ]
 
+[[package]]
+name = "rustix"
+version = "0.35.12"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "985947f9b6423159c4726323f373be0a21bdb514c5af06a849cb3d2dce2d01e8"
+dependencies = [
+ "bitflags",
+ "errno",
+ "io-lifetimes",
+ "libc",
+ "linux-raw-sys",
+ "windows-sys",
+]
+
 [[package]]
 name = "ryu"
 version = "1.0.11"
@@ -6523,14 +6589,21 @@ dependencies = [
 ]
 
 [[package]]
-name = "textwrap"
-version = "0.15.0"
+name = "terminal_size"
+version = "0.2.1"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "b1141d4d61095b28419e22cb0bbf02755f5e54e0526f97f1e3d1d160e60885fb"
+checksum = "8440c860cf79def6164e4a0a983bcc2305d82419177a0e0c71930d049e3ac5a1"
 dependencies = [
- "terminal_size",
+ "rustix",
+ "windows-sys",
 ]
 
+[[package]]
+name = "textwrap"
+version = "0.16.0"
+source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
+checksum = "222a222a5bfe1bba4a77b45ec488a741b3cb8872e5e499451fd7d0129c9c7c3d"
+
 [[package]]
 name = "thiserror"
 version = "1.0.37"
diff --git a/src/billing-demo/Cargo.toml b/src/billing-demo/Cargo.toml
index 813878cca6b4e..57d887bf1a04e 100644
--- a/src/billing-demo/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/billing-demo/Cargo.toml
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ publish = false
 [dependencies]
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
 chrono = { version = "0.4.22", default-features = false, features = ["clock", "std"] }
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive"] }
 hex = "0.4.3"
 mz-ore = { path = "../../src/ore", features = ["task"] }
 mz-test-util = { path = "../../test/test-util" }
diff --git a/src/compute/Cargo.toml b/src/compute/Cargo.toml
index 6eb0fdd55308d..7cb7708207cad 100644
--- a/src/compute/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/compute/Cargo.toml
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ anyhow = "1.0.65"
 async-trait = "0.1.56"
 axum = "0.5.16"
 bytesize = "1.1.0"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive", "env"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive", "env"] }
 crossbeam-channel = "0.5.6"
 dec = { version = "0.4.8", features = ["serde"] }
 differential-dataflow = { git = "https://github.com/TimelyDataflow/differential-dataflow.git" }
diff --git a/src/environmentd/Cargo.toml b/src/environmentd/Cargo.toml
index fae061e16c31a..754a46a1fe888 100644
--- a/src/environmentd/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/environmentd/Cargo.toml
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ axum = { version = "0.5.16", features = ["headers"] }
 base64 = "0.13.0"
 bytes = "1.2.1"
 chrono = { version = "0.4.22", default-features = false, features = ["std"] }
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["wrap_help", "env", "derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["wrap_help", "env", "derive"] }
 fail = { version = "0.5.1", features = ["failpoints"] }
 futures = "0.3.24"
 headers = "0.3.7"
diff --git a/src/kafka-util/Cargo.toml b/src/kafka-util/Cargo.toml
index 10725da596b35..df53ff65423c7 100644
--- a/src/kafka-util/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/kafka-util/Cargo.toml
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ publish = false
 [dependencies]
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
 chrono = { version = "0.4.22", default-features = false, features = ["clock", "std"] }
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive"] }
 crossbeam = "0.8.2"
 mz-avro = { path = "../avro" }
 mz-ccsr = { path = "../ccsr" }
diff --git a/src/mz/Cargo.toml b/src/mz/Cargo.toml
index a2f45829cc809..cdae553d0e258 100644
--- a/src/mz/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/mz/Cargo.toml
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ publish = false
 
 [dependencies]
 serde = { version = "1.0.147", features = ["derive"] }
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = [ "derive" ] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = [ "derive" ] }
 tokio = { version = "1.20.2", features = ["full"] }
 open = "3.0.3"
 axum = "0.5.16"
diff --git a/src/orchestrator-kubernetes/Cargo.toml b/src/orchestrator-kubernetes/Cargo.toml
index d6da3d717afbd..e1eb359e85cad 100644
--- a/src/orchestrator-kubernetes/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/orchestrator-kubernetes/Cargo.toml
@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ publish = false
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
 async-trait = "0.1.57"
 chrono = { version = "0.4.22", default-features = false }
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive"] }
 futures = "0.3.24"
 maplit = "1.0.2"
 mz-cloud-resources = { path = "../cloud-resources" }
diff --git a/src/orchestrator-tracing/Cargo.toml b/src/orchestrator-tracing/Cargo.toml
index 92231404bf266..674feef9b209d 100644
--- a/src/orchestrator-tracing/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/orchestrator-tracing/Cargo.toml
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ publish = false
 [dependencies]
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
 async-trait = "0.1.57"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["env", "derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["env", "derive"] }
 futures-core = "0.3.21"
 http = "0.2.8"
 humantime = { version = "2.1.0", optional = true }
diff --git a/src/ore/Cargo.toml b/src/ore/Cargo.toml
index 1d46afac618cc..874d6a3a3f841 100644
--- a/src/ore/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/ore/Cargo.toml
@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@ anyhow = { version = "1.0.65", optional = true }
 async-trait = { version = "0.1.57", optional = true }
 bytes = { version = "1.2.1", optional = true }
 chrono = { version = "0.4.22", default-features = false, features = ["std"], optional = true }
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["env"], optional = true }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["env"], optional = true }
 ctor = { version = "0.1.23", optional = true }
 either = "1.8.0"
 futures = { version = "0.3.24", optional = true }
diff --git a/src/persist-client/Cargo.toml b/src/persist-client/Cargo.toml
index db101ffc53c2a..ebd8f5987cb66 100644
--- a/src/persist-client/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/persist-client/Cargo.toml
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ tokio-console = ["mz-ore/tokio-console"]
 [dev-dependencies]
 async-trait = "0.1.57"
 axum = "0.5.16"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive", "env"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive", "env"] }
 criterion = { version = "0.4.0", features = ["html_reports"] }
 datadriven = { version = "0.6.0", features = ["async"] }
 futures-task = "0.3.21"
diff --git a/src/pgtest/Cargo.toml b/src/pgtest/Cargo.toml
index 871288adaf694..7171e0c85579e 100644
--- a/src/pgtest/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/pgtest/Cargo.toml
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ publish = false
 [dependencies]
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
 bytes = "1.2.1"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive"] }
 datadriven = "0.6.0"
 fallible-iterator = "0.2.0"
 mz-ore = { path = "../ore" }
diff --git a/src/s3-datagen/Cargo.toml b/src/s3-datagen/Cargo.toml
index 7647f2527d673..c99ea26b00ab3 100644
--- a/src/s3-datagen/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/s3-datagen/Cargo.toml
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ anyhow = "1.0.65"
 aws-config = { version = "0.49.0", default-features = false, features = ["native-tls"] }
 aws-sdk-s3 = { version = "0.19.0", default-features = false, features = ["native-tls", "rt-tokio"] }
 bytefmt = "0.1.7"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive"] }
 futures = "0.3.24"
 indicatif = "0.17.1"
 mz-ore = { path = "../ore" }
diff --git a/src/service/Cargo.toml b/src/service/Cargo.toml
index 0da5ccd86c9ce..e9e143e4da5fc 100644
--- a/src/service/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/service/Cargo.toml
@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ publish = false
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
 async-stream = "0.3.3"
 async-trait = "0.1.57"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["env", "derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["env", "derive"] }
 crossbeam-channel = "0.5.6"
 futures = "0.3.24"
 http = "0.2.8"
diff --git a/src/sqllogictest/Cargo.toml b/src/sqllogictest/Cargo.toml
index 7a17d8c4a68d9..94057b3847936 100644
--- a/src/sqllogictest/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/sqllogictest/Cargo.toml
@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ publish = false
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
 bytes = "1.2.1"
 chrono = { version = "0.4.22", default-features = false, features = ["clock", "std"] }
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive"] }
 fallible-iterator = "0.2.0"
 futures = "0.3.24"
 junit-report = "0.7.1"
diff --git a/src/stash-debug/Cargo.toml b/src/stash-debug/Cargo.toml
index 5642bdde02d18..f9c068ebf37a5 100644
--- a/src/stash-debug/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/stash-debug/Cargo.toml
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ publish = false
 
 [dependencies]
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive", "env"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive", "env"] }
 mz-adapter = { path = "../adapter" }
 mz-build-info = { path = "../build-info" }
 mz-ore = { path = "../ore" }
diff --git a/src/storaged/Cargo.toml b/src/storaged/Cargo.toml
index 3c7a592b39228..0d3215ab50e03 100644
--- a/src/storaged/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/storaged/Cargo.toml
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ publish = false
 [dependencies]
 anyhow = "1.0.65"
 axum = "0.5.16"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive", "env"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive", "env"] }
 fail = { version = "0.5.1", features = ["failpoints"] }
 mz-build-info = { path = "../build-info" }
 mz-http-util = { path = "../http-util" }
diff --git a/src/testdrive/Cargo.toml b/src/testdrive/Cargo.toml
index 4909d207d6e72..a6216d9edce3b 100644
--- a/src/testdrive/Cargo.toml
+++ b/src/testdrive/Cargo.toml
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ aws-types = { version = "0.49.0", features = ["hardcoded-credentials"] }
 byteorder = "1.4.3"
 bytes = "1.2.1"
 chrono = { version = "0.4.22", default-features = false, features = ["std"] }
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive"] }
 flate2 = "1.0.24"
 futures = "0.3.24"
 globset = "0.4.9"
diff --git a/test/perf-kinesis/Cargo.toml b/test/perf-kinesis/Cargo.toml
index 99d05a0e2772a..22e2eccf51d23 100644
--- a/test/perf-kinesis/Cargo.toml
+++ b/test/perf-kinesis/Cargo.toml
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ aws-config = { version = "0.49.0", default-features = false, features = ["native
 aws-sdk-kinesis = { version = "0.19.0", default-features = false, features = ["native-tls", "rt-tokio"] }
 aws-types = "0.49.0"
 bytes = "1.2.1"
-clap = { version = "3.2.20", features = ["derive"] }
+clap = { version = "4.0.18", features = ["derive"] }
 futures = "0.3.24"
 mz-kinesis-util = { path = "../../src/kinesis-util" }
 mz-ore = { path = "../../src/ore", features = ["task"] }