Move show/hide flag out of NodeDefAccepts table into Node to NodeDefAccepts Relationship table. Allowing each node to set it's own show/hide customizations for the shared NodeDefAccepts ID.
i.e. Programs (App Nodes) share NodeDefAccepts command definitions with unique ID. Object representation is a table in app's database with the show/hide flag. If one program changes the show hide flag all programs will honor the new flag value.